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A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobody second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavor
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.
And here we are at the humble town of Titipu! So, what may I ask are you doing here in my Titipu Residence, which is, it must be said, actually the Palace of the Lord High Executioner, Koko, who I might possibly have to execute thanks to his apparently unfortunate mistake of compassing the death of the Heir Apparent.
This is unfortunate, of course, because I am a very humane Mikado of Japan, the most humane in our country's history. I am really sorry for them all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.
As it is, let me see... What is the punishment for those who defile the sacred residence of the Mikado? Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy. Something of that sort. I think boiling oil occurs in it, but I'm not sure. I know it's something humorous, but lingering, with either boiling oil or melted lead. Come, come, don't fret - I'm not a bit angry.
Yes, I know it was an accident. That's the pathetic part of it. Unfortunately, the fool of an act says "defiling the sacred residence of the Mikado". There's not a word about a mistake. That's the slovenly way in which these acts are always drawn. However, cheer up, it'll be all right. I'll have it altered next session.
Now, let's see about your execution - will after luncheon suit you?
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