His voice has gone flat, serious, and perhaps a little unsure. How do I begin to explain to Julian what has passed between Romeo and me, especially the most recent episode of my kidnapping? I take his hand in mine. I can tell his first inclination is to pull away from me, but he continues to let me hold onto him.

"Julian, I have no idea how to begin to ease your mind about this, or if I even am able to do so. Like I said, it was a long time ago. Yes, Romeo and I came here together a few times, but it is not where we spent most of our time together." He squeezes my hand lightly so I know he is at least listening. "I will probably never understand the reason he took me away the day before Corwin's funeral. He told me...he told me he wanted to remind me; wanted me to remember. It is as if he felt I had totally forgotten him and what we once had. But then he told me he would not stay. That made me feel as if I were standing in our special place again the day he decided not to meet me. It brought the whole depressing episode crashing down on me as if it were yesterday. Then you saw how he sent me back to Phaistos, alone, on the back of his horse. Why did he do that to me? He was the one who left me all those years ago. What is it in men that drives them to hurt someone they love or have loved seemingly without provocation? I just don't get it. I don't want to be hurt like that ever again."

I stop myself. I am getting angry once more. This has nothing to do with Julian, yet I hope he will understand the pain I have had to endure facing a part of my past that was at the same time precious and painful to me in the remembrance of it.