I come before you, a shell, tears unable to fall, having been released in wrenching waterfalls not more than four moons ago.

I come before you, begging for the understanding that I crave. Why am I left here? Why did I allow myself to sway and bend before them both? Why did I forsake the first, only to have the second discard me?

How could I ever look my first in the eye again, after what happened? And the letter? That wrathful incursion of my memories? Of his? No, never...

And then the second? When I wanted, more than anything, for him to hold me and tell me- promise me- that I wouldn't have to worry about the first anymore- ever again- that those words my first said didn't mean anything... that the words my wrathful lover of the past took into a demon's voice, leaving me broken and afraid.

And I am broken. I was when I wrote the letter, telling what had occurred. And then, his response- when I told the second that he would most likely never speak to me again, it felt as though I were shouldered- shoved aside- as though what I had just experienced had no consequence. But it did! I was broken and afraid those few nights ago, when the second misspoke, scared that I was being used and unable to trust. Why?

Why? Because he was only a comfort when I was near him. Only a true comfort when my heart felt like it was close to his, like it would break if we were ever parted. Like my life would break if we were ever parted.

And then... the letter... it broke me again. The words were echoed by the latter. Does that make either's opinion any more true? Would it have been empty, Aphrodite?

Is love ever empty?

I am broken, and I need to be made whole again. Call on Zeus, Call on Athena, Call on any except Ares to make my life worth loving again. If he wishes, truly, to be through with me, then there's no point to me feeling this anymore.

But if he does not, if he needs me... As I love and need him, then never take him from my path. And Never, never draw my heart from him.