The Brigante chieftain looks incredulously at the woman before him, as though she's just asked Culann if she might place her finger in his nose. After draining his tankard, he begins to gingerly, and oh-so daintily pick his teeth with the chicken feather that came with said libation...

Nuada's teeth woman! Could it possibly be that a cultured, dazzling sophisticate such as yourself has never met a well-dressed Celtic man? Let me explain, then, he said, as the paragraph came to an end.

The substance in my hair is called limewash, and it's a traditional accoutrement for the Celtic warrior, along with a plant dye called woad, which is worn in various patterns on one's physique - which I shall describe forthwith. Limewash is made of slaked quicklime and water, mixed with a touch of horsefat so it doesn't irritate the eyes and skin.

It is applied in one's hair to achieve the illusion of being bigger than one actually is - a technique which worked the first time the Romans saw us - they thought our heads were actually on fire (since limewash does give off a red cast). The normal technique is to tease one's hair up into sort of...well..spikes, I guess. Think of the legendary Celtic hero CuChulainn (and for those of you who aren't sure, that's pronounced "cooCULLan"), who had hair of all colors that stood up like a corona around his head. We do it to emulate him. Think of it as the ancient Indo-European equivalent of mousse or pomade.

Woad, on the other hand, is a plant dye applied in various phantasmagoric patterns across a warrior's physique. It yields a dye called indigotin, which is obviously a blue hue. Applied in vast quantities, it is also a mild hallucinogen (which goes to explain the somewhat looney behavior of the average Celtic warrior). I myself prefer a medial quantity of woad, applied across my chest and face, usually in spiral patterns (the spiral being a sacred symbol in Celtic culture). Think of it as the ancient Indo-European equivalent of warpaint.

Er...did you wanna talk Celtic fashion, or were you just making conversation?