I hate running and will not race for any reason in the world - so what am I doing here, tying my sandals, fixing my hat, and preparing to run from Marathon to Athens with a bunch of stuff tied to my back as though I were one of Marius' mules? I don't know: perhaps I'm dead and this is Hell...

It looks more like Hellas, although there are some pretty scary monsters in either place. I'm told I'll find a few so I armed myself as best I could - although my mother insisted she'd pack for me, so I'm not sure what she took out and what she left in.

I'm late already, but I don't care. The sandals have wings - a new model, and they're guaranteed to fly. I admit that salesman was too ready with the promises, but you have to trust someone, don't you? Or do you?

I certainly can't trust this guy; he says his name is Hydra, and all his heads have smiles; his eyes don't smile, though, and he's blocking my path. His smiles turn into grimaces; his teeth look quite dangerous. Wings or no wings, I can't fly over his heads. I offer him an amphora of wine, and all the heads come down quickly in an attempt to be the first to taste the vintage. They smack together and suddenly he looks dazed and confused and about to faint. I never check whether he does, and am on my way as fast as the sandals will take me.

I'm going to get lost if I go in here! They said I must collect a little bronze statue of Zeus from inside. I thought the Labyrinth was in Crete - it just goes to show you can't trust tourist guides. Or maybe the architect made another one, although Minos' contract left no chance for copies. But a good lawyer would have got around that.
Anyway, how to go in and come back out - there must be something in my backpack I can use. Sure, a ball of thread that I can unroll and roll again. I just hope it's long enough. As for meeting the Minotaur - ha! Of those there was only one, no lawyer could work around "that" fact.

It was dark inside the Labyrinth, but I did find my way in and out, and have the little statue to prove it! It's good to be back in broad daylight, though, in these beautiful green pastures where sheep graze peacefully. Peacefully? Oh no, what did I do now? These sheep are more nervous than a movie star, look at them running every which way just because I go a little fast! Come now, is there a speed limit in these fields? And is this angry one eyed guy a traffic warden? Damn, I seem to have upset him badly, and now he shuts me in a cave and says he'll eat me raw. I can't waste time in prisons and trials, I have to get out.

Gods, the man is ugly and angry and reasoning won't get me out. It must be the sharpened stick if I can throw it into the man's only eye, but I'm not the best thrower in the world, so I guess I'd better try something else.
There's my automatically lighteable torch, I light it and yell, Fire! Fire! and when the Cyclops comes in I throw it at his face; he stands there coughing and blinded by the smoke and the flame while I slip away at mach 1.

Athens can't be far; I could perhaps even slow down a little and talk with that girl there with the hair like Shakira... Oops, that was a bad idea!That's no Shakira, that's Medusa and if she sees me I'm in trouble. Fortunately I still have the helmet of invisibility which my cousin thought was an old motorcycle helmet when he found it and let me have for a pittance. With that on, Medusa can't see me and I glide by - I almost can't resist making some kind of noise like I'm driving a Harley but I bite my tongue and am gone.

And there before me are the mighty temples of Athens' acropolis. Am I in time? I hope someone gives me something to drink, running (well, flying) these 30 miles or so is thirsty business and my amphora is long gone!