"It's all your fault!"

"No, it's all YOUR fault. You were the one who had to insult our centurion and now he's assigned us to boring duties like watching the banks of this smelly river, rather than downstream where the real action is! How are we going to get any decorations for valor, if we aren't doing anything?!"

Two Roman soldiers stood on the banks of the Seine. They were watching the flank of the main force that was chasing some rebellious Gauls up and down the countryside. They were worthy opponents and had been getting the better of the Roman general for many months now. Usually no solider wanted to be a courier, for it meant hard riding and hard dodging of Celtic swords, but the joke amongst the Legion was that it was good to be a courier for the General never sent any dispatches. He had nothing good to report to Rome!

"Ho! Look there!" one pointed and his companion looked to the river.

Floundering amongst the shallow reeds was a small skiff. Aboard were two huge men, one fat one, two women and a little girl. There were also some barrels as well. Being good soliders they went to investigate and hauled the boat out of the river, along with its strange crew.

When asked to explain themselves, the redheaded one put on airs and claimed to be a patrician Cornelian. She and several members of her household had come sightseeing. There was to be a race today and the little one wanted to see it. The boat had run afoul in the reeds, and if they could kindly help them out, they would be on their way downriver. The soliders were skeptical. Why they must be...SPIES!

"All of you are coming with us," said the soliders. Surely the General would be pleased with them for catching these spies!

"Oh yes," Faustina says dryly. "I look forward to talking with your General."

The party is hauled off to the Roman camp, stinky cheese and all, and brought before the General. He listens and decides they are telling the truth. "But I cannot let you go back out there. It is not safe. You many stay the night with us and resume your journey in the morning."

And thus ends the linguistically challenged Roman Holiday, which all started because of confusion over a boat!

(( They did not technically finish the course, getting plucked just shy of the finish line by the soliders. Please pardon all historical mistakes and my terrible spelling! Thanks to Celita for hosting this event. Little Atia will have one heck of a story to tell the rest of the household when she gets back to Rome. :) ))