I'm sure that you know that many's the tall tale
When folk go fishing and hunting for whale -- er panda
So off I went, the moon it was pale
In Wales there's no panda's so where could it be?
I'd hear that panda's were kin to racoon
So I'd look for a dustbin under the moon
So off to the Orient, I traveled over the Sea

I landed in the Orient intent on my Quest
To find Beo bai I'd need be the best
Buth truth to be told I'm more like the rest
The food was funny in these for'n parts
A restaurant was not to be seen
Nobody ate food -- you could see they were lean
Instead of eating these folk took up arts!

If I couldn't find dustbins, what would I do?
Well, I'd eaten well, so off to the lou
That's when it hit me, first try a zoo!
I looked for the panda so I could learn
If there are no dustbins what do they eat?
What colour are they, how big are their feet?
Now that I knew the prize I would earn

Panda are tricky, now it is plain
Beo bai is the best at that game
Too be so fooled for me is a shame
The guard at the zoo was a most helpful bloke
Big as a bear, and wrapped all in fur
I thought it was odd to meet a were
But then I'd meet Fenris and other were-folk

The guard' been most helpful, let me explain
He'd taught me that Panda come out in the rain
and live on a diet of black tea and grain
Panda are small and live up in the trees
they often hang out with friendly bees
He'd shown me a map and found me a train

Now Beo bai was tricky, a master of lies
So the guard helped me get a master disguise
I knew with his help I'd sure get the prize
First he dressed me up like a polar bear
gave me a spring of bamboo to hold
Then shook his head and said I looked old
He got out the black then dyed part of my hair

Long story short finds me up in a tree
waving bamboo to shoo off a bee
I heard a noise what could it be?
A Hunter from Gaul under my space!
I stuck the bamboo into my mouth
Then hand over hand I tried to climb south
...Then I saw the look on his face

The hunter looked like he'd found the prize
The hunter raised his gun to his eyes
The bees now thought we were after their hives
The bees swarmed around in the air
I dropped to the ground whith nary a thump
The gun it went off under my rump
But at that point I didn't much care

The hunter and I we ran side by side
But bees are so small, where do you hide?
We ran to the train to catch a ride
Outside on the platform the guard waved goodbye
I took off my outfit, what a disgrace
You should have seen the look on my face
Now I knew him, the guard was Beo bai!

It's true that panda are kin to racoon
and maybe you'll find one under the moon
as for me, I'll not try again soon
I finaly found out, for my part
I'll stick to drinking and telling tall tales
At home at the inn in my city in Wales
For Hunting for Beo bai is a dangerous art.