The Facilities of Lazy Dog Productions.

Author: * Kendal Caledonii - 3 Posts on this thread out of 481 Posts sitewide.
Date: Apr 17, 2005 - 11:19

Kendal's dark blue Range Rover pulled up to the gates of Lazy Dog Productions. A rather earnest looking young man fairly jumped out of the guard house and stood smiling thru the driver's side window. "Can I help you, sir?"

The writer in Kendal grimaced at the bad grammar. Well, he was probably an aspiring actor—everyone in Hollywood seemed to be aspiring or failed actors—no one expected them to know the language. That's what writers were for. "I'm sure you're quite capable," Kendal pointed out. Actually, he wasn't at all sure of that. "I'm here to see Maria Marius. Kendal Caledonii."

The guard checked his clipboard. "Umm...I don't have you on my list, Mr. Caledonia."

"Caledonii."

"Yeah. Maybe you're here for the auditions? You have to go to Gate 3 for—"

"No," Kendal replied patiently. "I'm here to see Maria Marius. I'm the screenwriter C. Lou Le Sexec told her he was sending."

"Oh! She said someone would be here...umm...but I have the name Kellyn Cauldron."

Kendal sighed. "I'm sure it's just a typo. Perhaps if you called her?"

"Well-l-l-l-l...she's got a 'do not disturb' on her phone. She's probably in conference with the writers. They're doing a new series."

"Yes, I know. About William Wallace. It's why I'm here. I'll tell you what: I'll call her," Kendal suggested picking up his cell phone.

"Uh-h-h, no, no...that's okay. I mean if she's expecting you. I mean...she did say.... Well, Kellyn Cauldron...Kendal Caledonia. What's the difference?"

"None, I suppose," Kendal sighed.

"Okay...well...you can go on in. I guess," the guard stammered. "Ummm...yeah." He pushed a button on a remote control at his waist and the gate swung slowly open.

"Any idea where I'll find them?" Kendal prompted.

"Oh! She said they would be in Building Seven. Top floor."

Building Seven was easy to recognize. It had a huge sign over the main door that read, "Building 7". A long, square place with sharp corners and few windows, it might have been a warehouse at one time. The top floor turned out to be the same as the ground floor. Still, rather sumptuous compared to some of the Quonset huts writers usually got stuck in. Kendal parked the Rover and went inside. No receptionist. It might have been nice to know what room on the "top" floor. Might as well be methodical. He started on the west side of the building and began to walk down the long corridor checking each room as he went.

Though the hall had been deserted, the rooms were a beehive of activity. The first room was crammed to suffocation with clacking sewing machines, seamstresses, fabric, and tailor's dummies. No one bothered to look up when he opened the door. In the next, props were being sorted into various historical eras. On the wall behind one long table someone had stuck a hand-lettered sign that read, "Table 12. Wallace Props Only. Waltzes With Wolves is on Table 21!!!" Kendal closed his eyes in dismay as he saw someone drop a 16th century katana on the table...probably purchased at the local RenFaire.

The rest of the rooms weren't much more help. About halfway down the corridor he was suddenly serenaded by a cacophony of hammers, drills, and saws. The whole building seemed to resonate with the racket. The east end of the building proved to be nothing but one vast room full of partially built sets.

"Ain't never seen a carpenter dressed like that before!" someone shouted over the din.

Kendal looked around to find the source of the voice. Leaning against a desk of World War II vintage was a man in t-shirt, coveralls, and a toolbelt weighted down with a hammer and several screwdrivers of varying sizes. A cigarette hung out of the corner of his mouth and he was surveying Kendal head to foot. "You gonna ruin that tie in here, boy. That is...if you're even supposed to be here," he chuckled. "Who you lookin' for?"

"I was told I could find—" his voice was drowned out by the sudden buzz of a circle saw. "MARIA MARIUS" he shouted. The man stood blinking at him as the saw stopped it agonized whine.

"Ain't no need to shout," he replied. "I can hear you just fine. You want the writers. They're over in Building Seventeen. That's the other side of the lot. This here's set construction," he tossed over his shoulder. Apparently, he'd lost interest in the conversation.

"I was beginning to gather that," Kendal muttered. "Building Seventeen. Thanks very much." He turned and headed back to the Rover. Seventeen...not Seven. Now, had that misdirection been by accident or design?