HOLLYWOOD - UAP:    At 6'3", 210 lbs, and with a smile that could melt the hardest casting director's heart, screenwriter Kendal Caledonii might have been a star in this town, but the fact is he never intended to be in show biz at all. His career began in archaeology, where he is known as an expert in Celtic psychology specializing in the period 742-679 BC. Hollywood had a different plan, however, and in his 27th year it took over his life. Although never a commercial success, his critically-acclaimed script Cu Cu Cuchulain brought him the Academy Award for best original screenplay and a barrage of offers from Tinseltown. Shortly after the Dreamweaver Independent Films release, Caledonii was contacted by legendary producer/director Alfred Twitzbock to pen an adaptation of Willow Moon's smash hit Red Branch Knights, which led to the original screenplay sequel Red Branch Daze. Following this came a string of box office disappointments, although critics continued to praise the originality of his work. The dismal showing of the big-budget summer release Second Voyage of the Titanic (an alternate history story in which the majestic ship becomes the target of German u-boats) seemed to spell Caledonii's doom and he was labelled "box-office poison".

After a downward spiral that included such forgettable Nipporn Studios sci-fi and adventure films as Wander Woman, Virtual Sex, and Enter the Drag Queen, Wobbley Brothers commissioned him to write the summer replacement series Hell's Librarian, a weekly anthology that followed the adventures of Kathleen Ravenwood, the keeper of rare books in a mysterious realm reached by way of a Chinese laundry. The shocking success of the series prompted BAD-TV producer Rod Searing to offer Caledonii the position of script-consultant for the reality TV series Surviving: The Big Apple. This opportunity eventually opened the doors for him to become head-writer on PHOX Television's Emmy-winning hit Touchstone Tavern about the adventures of Keith Falconhurst (played by well-known actor Charles J. Hector), the keeper of an inn in Cornwall who is responsible for protecting a mysterious stone of power.

The Thrill of the Kill followed, which brought him back to the movies and a second Academy Award for Original Screenplay, besting front-runner BaiHeQuan by James Onori. Rumours persist (as they will in Hollywood) that the card in the Prize-Waternoose envelope actually read BaiHeQuan, but unable to pronounce the word and fearful of looking like an idiot onstage, actress Pixy Phetherwidt blurted out the Caledonii title instead. Despite the cloud surrounding this second award, Caledonii's reputation was set. The rest, as they say, is history.

For six years now, hit has followed hit and Caledonii's star continues to glitter, marred only by a long-standing feud with Valeria Marya involving a dispute over Gryphon Dork Magician (potions nerd fights evil technology executive). Rumours in the trade magazines hint that BAD-TV is in negotiations with Caledonii for an as-yet unnamed series scheduled for the new fall season.

Filmography not previously mentioned
Meet Me in Wonderland
Legally Blind in Washington
High Nooner (winner, YoungTV award for best original screenplay)
Sex in the Suburbs
The Bare B‡tch Project
The Life and Times of Pilau Waipa (Rummy nominee for best screenplay adaptation)
Al Qaeda Chicks
National Canvas (Gold Sphere nominee for best original screenplay)
Fighting Nemo
Blackmale
Nobody's Inn
Wales Eleven