Fresh out of college, Colleen MacNamara has been slaving away in the mailroom. Some mysterious "someone" called downstairs for that 'dingy college chick, the history buff' and she ran upstairs as fast as her platforms could carry her.

Someone called her goth once, and all she could think was RUDE. Last night she had a premonition that today would be THE day to wear the red tartan mini, so she dyed her spiky straight hair to match. The black liner caked around her eyes matches the black patent-leather straps of her shoes and the black turtleneck that is tastefully tight. She knew they'd realize she was a true Scottish historian when they saw her.

"Wait!" she said, and noticed with smug satisfaction that everyone in the room had looked up. "You need to make sure there's someone on the staff to provide your facts. Hello, we're not Sinbad. We don't want our biggest publicity to be slams on a blog somewhere."