A Press Release from Audrey Taylor

Author: * Messalina Terentius - 1 Post on this thread out of 729 Posts sitewide.
Date: Mar 27, 2005 - 17:25

As Audrey sat sipping her morning double cap with a shot of Jack Daniels by the pool of her Brentwood estate, she called out to her assistant Todd Attwood.
“Where is that bio I had you write up last night Luv?”
The tightly muscled Todd swam to the edge of the pool and looked up at the glamorous forty-something actress with a perfectly dazzling and newly veneered smile.
“I’ll get it for you right now Miss Taylor.”
She watched his gleaming wet body rise from the pool and wondered how she had ever gotten on with out his ample…help.
Todd handed her the copy.
She put on her oversized reading sunglasses and perused the page.

***

Audrey Taylor, glamorous film legend announced today that

she is signing with the newly formed B.A.D. – TV Network.
The beautiful star is most famous for her string of husbands. Nicky Six heir to the Motel Six fortune, film producer Jack Rodd who died tragically when he was hit by a tour bus when leaving Bulgari on Rodeo Drive just after he bought Audrey the fabulous “Tears of Russia” Tiara. He was followed by third husband singer Bobby Sailor who she stole away from Broadway legend Helen Nash, and of course the love of her life fourth husband Irish actor Richard Bourbon.
She made my name as a child star in the 1975 "Gassy Come Home" the story of a little girl and her flatulent collie. At 17 she made her leap to adult roles in "Neapolitan Holiday" Where she was chased through the back alleys of Naples by a leering Ryan O'Neil. Some of her early highlights in pictures include the classic "A Piece of the Sun", "The Girl Who Had Everyone", "Elephant Stomp" About an independent woman who trains Elephants to pick tea on a plantation in Ceylon. She received her first Oscar nomination for "Suddenly Last Call" The shocking tale of a barfly who is institutionalized after the closing lights illuminate the murder of her Gay hustler cousin. The following year she got her second nomination for “A View From Heaven.” Finally in 1995 she beat out Sally Fields to win the Oscar for her tragic and charming portrayal of Call Girl/Supper Model Molly Gobrightly in "Breakfast At Woolworths."
After her triumph over a near fatal encounter with some bad chili from Chasen’s came the scandal of "Pompeia" (He Lust Spanned An Empire!) where she again made husband

(Rome 05/10/90 UPI) Taylor and Bourbon caught by Italian Papparazzi

stealing headlines in Rome by falling in love with her married co-star Richard Bourbon. The film nearly ruined two studios and is to this day the most expensive film in history. (It did make a modest profit) After that she and Richard made a string of films, "The Sinpipper" "Very Important People", and the best of the lot, "I'm Afraid of Virginia Graham".
Then the career took a nose dive with "Airport 2000" followed by the film adaptation of “Louisiana” William’s "Bang" that fizzled at the box office. Fleeing her failing marriage she flew off to Italy to film "Incoherent" a confusing Italian production directed by Enrico Felluci about a mad woman who tries to seduce the Pope. She was at the time in the midst of a messy divorce from Bourbon and was so high

on caffeine and diet pills that her confused performance nearly ended her career (Oddly enough she did win the Venice Film Festival best actress award for the film).
After her divorce from Bourbon she swore off marriage and formed C.R.A.P. (Co-dependent Relationships Are Pathetic). She spends most of her time touring church basements across the country telling her tale of recovery. Now that her life is back on track she is eager to get back into the swing of things and is thrilled to be a part of B.A.D. – TV. No project has yet been chosen but Miss Taylor remains optimistic of the future.
“Baby I’ve been though it all and now it’s time to get down and dirty and show people just how bad I can be.”

***

Audrey put dropped the copy on the glass table before her and looked at Todd and attempted a feeble frown.
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“Still tender from your little nip and tuck in Rio?”
“No, beauty knows no pain. It’s just that, do we have to mention all my marriages?”
“It’s what the public wants to hear about. You know that.”
“I suppose so. What about that mess I made in Rome, “Pompeia”? It should have been great if those damn suits at Fox and Paramount hadn’t cut it down from twelve hours to two and a half. And all those other eggs I laid, “Airport 2000”, “Bang!” and “Incoherent!” Why bring all that up and my divorce from Richard too?
“You did get an award for it after all?”
“For my divorce from Richard, I got an award for that?”
“’Incoherent’ darling!”
“Oh yeah.” Audrey picked up the copy and shoved it at Todd. “Okay, we might as well get my come back on the road. Send it out to UP, AP, and all the other damn Ps. Oh and give them the picture they used of me on the cover of “Movie Star” magazine.”
As Todd trotted off giving Audrey a perfect view of his buns of steel she made the sign of the cross and sighed.
“I’d better call my Agent Manny Blatt. Good Lord. Television, it’s come to that.”