But... what are you staring at, dear? That is just the box! Yes, open it. Inside you will find...

A PERSIAN!

Uh, no, wait, that's the wrong Persian, and I think it is quite incompatible with you. Here, *this* is the right box, containing, of course...

A PERSIAN!

Er. Slightly more useful, but it's *still* not what I meant. All right, third time's the charm... here is your PERSIAN!

Oooooh! At last. I knew this would elicit some response... in the pure hunk-making tradition of the Red Boar! Cheers Persia!

Now let us celebrate all the unbirthday babies at the buffet I am so stalwartly defending from the brawl...