Brutus had a small dinner at his house last night; mainly Cassius, Cicero, and Casca. He asked me because we were going to discuss Cicero's latest "philosophical" work, but somehow the atmosphere wasn't conducive to philosophical discussion.

I've lived in Rome three years and, teaching Greek philosophical concepts, I suppose I've met most of the Senators who pride themselves on their intellectual prowess. Brutus' friendship has made me, here; through him, the sons of many Senators now study with me and I could afford to move from the Subura to a small house on the Esquiline. He is my patron, and in this Roman world, that means I owe him loyalty. Yet Caesar has done much for the stability of Rome, and (on the few occasions I have met him) struck me as a man of brilliance and action. I cannot agree with Brutus that he is destroying the Republic - it seemed to me, given the past twenty years, that the Republic is just a name and has little to do with politics as they are now.

As I lay on the side table last night with Casca, I couldn't help but notice so many quiet looks that burned across the table, so much that was not said. Cicero, of course, was well at ease. For some reason, talk moved around to his Cato of several years ago, and Caesar's disgusting response in which he tried to blacken Cato's name. Both Cassius and Cato said little, but their attention whenever Brutus spoke could be felt throughout the room. What is bothering them?

Brutus was quiet until Cato's name came up and then passionately defended him(of course, Cato was his uncle and they were very close - and of course, he's married to Cato's daughter). He's fond of Caesar, but hated the anti-Cato; of course, that's only natural. When you see Brutus with Caesar, they appear as close as father and son - yet apart from Caesar, he's full of hostility.

For the rest, particularly Casca and Cassius, they were sullen and said little. Cicero often found himself pontificating alone.

The atmosphere was all wrong. Of course, with Caesar leaving for the East, a certain tension is natural but - this felt like waiting. I feel uncomfortable.