not written!

The French have yet to contribute anything of significance to great literature, but as Gnaeus pointed out, they do have a flatulent way of counting, and quatre-vingts sept is probably more pompous that my "Maxwell Smart plus one" for 87. So, here is your chance, Antoninus, to redeem two centuries of buffoonery by the French Language Police.

*slapping Antoninus roughly across the chops with frilly french knickers*

I challenge you to give us the French Gettysburg AdDress in bouts rimez:

quatre-vingts sept
Lincoln
inept
drinkin'
rebel yell
thinkin'
Southern belle
stinkin'
Klan
blinkin'
man
finkin'

Of course the fool will probably come out with an Irish Limerick, but that's what the Auld Alliance was all about, eh?

Has anyone heard William the Conqueror's prebattle speech for 1066? Not only did "Rollo thrash the French king, who was not allowed to wear a dagger in his presence, while he could sport a sword," but he also "wrestled the devil and left him tied up as a shameful spectacle for angels." Those were the days of great speeches.

Or Elizabeth 1, who had "the mind and body of a feeble woman, but the stomach of a concrete elephant"?

Frenchie, the knickers are yours.

Pick them up. If you dare...