This is nae a sang o' love, nor yet a sang o' money,
Faith it's a naething verra peetifu' an' it's naething verra funny,
But there's Hielan' Scotch, there's Lowlan' Scotch, there's Butterscotch and honey,
If there's nane o' them for aa, there's a mixture o' the three.
An' there's nae a word o' beef brose, sewans, sauty bannocks
Na, nor pancakes paeseggs for them wi' dainty stammicks;
But it's aa aboot a meal and ale that happened at Balmannocks.
Aye, McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

Chorus:
They were howling' in the kitchen like a caravan o' tinkies
Some were playing ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies,
Up the howe and down the howe, ye niver saw sich jinkies
As McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig went on the spree.

Noo McGinty's pig broke loose an wannert tae the lobby,
Whaur he open shived the pantry door an cam upon the toddy,
An' he took kindly tae the stuff like ony human body,
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
Miss McGinty she came ben the hoose, the wey wis dark and creekit,
She gaed helster-gowdie ower the pig, for, faith she never lookit.
She lat oot a skirl that waud hae paralysed a teuchat,
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig went on the spree.

Johnnie Murphy, he ran after her and ower the pig was leaping',
When he stepped upon an ashet that was sitting fu o' dreepin'
And he fell doon and peel't his croon and couldnae haud fae greetin',
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
Then the pantry shelf cam ricklin doon an' he was lying kirnin
Under saft soap, pease meal, cornfloor and yirnin,
Like a golloch among treacle, but McGinty's wife was girnin
At the sass upon her pantry floor and wadna let him be.

Syne they aa ran skirlin tae the door, but fand that it was taggit,
For aye it held the faster, aye the mair they ruggit,
Till McGinty roared tae bring an axe, he wadna be humbuggit.
Na nor lockit in his ain hoose and that he'd let them see,
Sae the wife cam trailin' wi' an axe, an' through the bar was hackit,
An' open flew the door at aince, sae ticht as they were packit,
And aa the crew cam rumlin oot like tatties frae a backit,
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

Miss McGinty took the thing to hairt, an' hidit in her closet,
An' they rubbit Johnnie Murphy's head heid with turpentine and rosit;
Syne they harl't him wi' a meal and ale, until ye wad supposit
He had sleepit in a mason's trough an risen tae the spree.
O it's weary o' the barley bree, and weary fae the weather,
For it's scratchin' among dubs and drink, they gang na weel thegither,
But there's litle doot McGinty's pig is wishin' for anither
O McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.


From the Glasgow University Student SongBook -1956