Porcia had contemplated hiding. If she was a girl she would have hidden in a cabinet, but now she was twenty-six and she had to stop hiding and start facing her fears, or at least cease avoiding issues that made her heart tremble. It made little difference she actually was hiding in her small reading room away from even any servant. In the tranquil space she heard her father’s pounding voice emphasizing,

“You foolish girl, you give your sex no credit. Sitting their hiding in that cupboard, you are like every other weak female, like your foolish mother. Do not shame me further and get out of there!” Porcia frowned and recalled her reply,

“I don’t want to go to Aunt Servilia’s, she is mean and she doesn’t like me!” Her excuse, to Porcia, was legitimate. Servilia gave her many horrors throughout her young life. Porcia envisioned her father’s grimace with ease, looking back on her petulant behavior she was surprised her father never beat her. This, however, did not eliminate rough handling. Eventually she came out of the cabinet, whether she was pulled by the arm or coaxed out by speech.

Even now, Porcia found a defiant cabinet and she resented it. When did she become so timid that she would not face with honor the city that had ostracized her? What was even so frightening about those people in Rome? She should not have to worry when her honor has been so kept and she was a victim of more than their cruelty in the past few years. All this struggle should have furthered her resolve, not shaken it.

She walked out of the room and tread softly, hoping not to attract attention to herself, when Sextus said,

“I thought you might be in there.” Porcia shrugged her shoulders and replied,

“Am I predictable already? Aren’t you supposed to be ordering people around for the journey back to Rome?” Porcia was surprised she had the courage to say “Rome” out loud, as if it never bothered her. This little act impressed herself, maybe she would not be so timid, perhaps with her own will she could force Rome to acknowledge her right to be there, she was after all a Roman.