I wish to make a formal booking for my 100,000th Gram Party.

As of right now, I am sitting on 92,628 grams. When I reach 100,000 Grams, I wish to celebrate! I will require a DJ (auditions please!), pyrotechnics, fabulous finger food and massive amounts of top shelf ouch-a-hol.

There will be bling, there will be music, there will be dancing, there will be glossy invitations with those nibbled gold bits about the edging issued! These will be distributed amongst my friends, patrons, citizens, novices and daylings alike (and to those who have grammed me when I was right in the middle of something important to ask me who really built the pyramids - like I care).

There will be gifts for all, a game or two and a few surprises. My 100,000th Gram Party will be formal! White tie for the gents, ball gowns for the ladies and I expect all the demis to put their false teeth in and take a bath!

Thankyou in anticipation!

Sementawy Horemheb.

Make that 92,638 grams and counting!