and everyone's apparent lack of concern for his diorientation, I take it upon myself to help the bloque out. I approach and introduce myself.

"It's obvious you are new here. I am Forseti." I say as I extend a hand of friendship to the new guy.

Upon seeing my hand, he shouts, "My lord" as he promptly drops to one knee and grabs my hand as he begins to grovel on the ground.

"Ok, enough. Please stop, you are embarrasing me and making a scene. I'm not the first god you have seen here and I won't be the last."

I grab his hand and lift him from the floor and flop him into a nearby chair.

"I just don't understand, nothing makes sense!" he tells me, almost sobbing. "What is happening to me?"

"You are experiencing what is called the "enlightening". You were slain in battle and carried here by the valkyr, normally there is an orientation, but for some reason you weren't included. The confusion will clear in a couple of days. Right now, sit down and get your bearings."

The recruit looks as confused as ever. So I move to plan B.

"Take a deep breath. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth to a count of three." I repeat the instructions three times and soon Helgar seems to have calmed down.

I slip out my phone and call the front desk. I explain the situation and then hang up after having recieved the appropriate response.

"Come on friend, let's get you settled into Valhalla. The allfather will want to meet you soon."