Alcaeus stepped smartly into the office of the Urban Praetor's clerk, who had gained a reputation as quite the most curmudgeonly and uncooperative official currently working in the whole of Rome. While some responded with shock, others approached with fear or deference, and a few with open threats of violence, Alcaeus - at his time of life, unconcerned by the opinions of others - approached with an unwarranted warmth and over-familiarity.

"What do you want? It's early, and we're not open yet. Don't you people read signs?"

"My dear man, how lovely to see you again, it has been too long!"

"You bloody Greeks, I know what you're like, stay your side of the desk or else!" The clerk adopted a defensive manner.

"You're a lucky man that desk is between us or who know what would have happened already!" Alcaeus was enjoying himself now, as the clerk firmly secured his toga against the possibility of wandering hands.

"Greek, I've got lots to do. Go away now so I can get it all done."

"Not before I've signed up my master, Quintus Flaminius Vitulus, for a few more cases. Or I could visit you at home this evening, if you'd prefer?" Alcaeus winked provocatively at the clerk.

"As you're here, Greek, do it now and then get lost, won't you? I'm not that kind of man, do you hear?"

"Very well. My master wishes to sign up for the following cases:

VINDIMANUS V. BALBO - BREACH OF CONTRACT
Prosecution: Q. Flaminius Vitulus
Defence: -

HENIKENUS V. FOSTOR - BREACH OF CONTRACT
Prosecution: -
Defence: Q. Flaminius Vitulus

DECIMUS V. BIBULUS - BREACH OF CONTRACT
Prosecution: Q. Flaminius Vitulus
Defence: -

"Bloody Vitulus. Is that it? I take it you're off now?"

"Much as I enjoy the pleasure of your company, I have speeches to write. Good day, my good man!"