Awkwardly I stand there. The small fire shows the few gaunt faces watching Ciara and Aedan being reunited with their baby. They’re cooing and crying over Conall’s return. They’ve said something to Baine, but not me. Baine is plopped down by the fire smiling. I don’t why she’s smiling. It annoys me for some reason. Something doesn’t feel right. Where is everyone? We’ve been gone a few days by Faery time, but it has been almost two months past here. Where is my Sean?

It’s Beltaine. It smells like Beltaine and sure as the sun rises in the morning. It looks like Beltaine. So why did the wolves of the plain look fiercer than usual. Where was the feasting? Drinking? Merry making? It’s quiet enough that I can Toad cursing from my pocket over the barely there bonfire. It resembled more of a small campfire one makes to keep their cold hiding spot from being seen.

Pouting I drag my cloak full of my trinkets and treasures over to a log. Ol’ Faolan pats the spot next to him and gives me a small, sad smile. A few outlaws look my way. Their faces don’t betray them one way or another. They probably hoped never to see me again. So unreadable at the moment. “Dinna know if we’d be seeing you again,” Faolan says quietly. The hallows in his old face look deeper and darker. “Kept your mares, though one of them lost a foal.” I nod my head to acknowledge the loss. I had been hopeful when I let them run with the stallions at the fairgrounds.

He continues to talk. He tells me about the losses that have happen. Not just here, but everyway that news has come to the plains. Becuma slinks out from the further shadows to come closer to the fire. She nods my way. I wonder if she has finally accepted my place here. Maybe Sean worked on her a bit, which reminded me that I hadn’t seen him yet. If he is out celebrating the rites with some loose skirt…

Unexpectedly I stand, fists clenched at my side. Grabbing up my possessions I disappear into the night. I have a home here. Sean was building us a home before Imbolc. It should be done now. Home-like…If he has some other woman there…Tromping and stomping I make my way. The dwelling has not been finished. No welcoming light or fire burns within. No one is here. Moving much more quietly I stalk my own home. As if the dwelling was going to turn into mist upon my arrival. Why wasn’t it finished?

I peek around the small entrance, no door nor flap, but what did that matter when there was no roof and barely enough walls? Empty. Nothing. No life has been here since it was last worked on. No feelings exuded from this emptiness. Much like I am feeling, devoid.

I’m exhausted. I sit in the middle of where a floor should be. Droopy ears and a numb body I place Toad on the ground. Then find myself curling up on the ground as well, trying to make myself as small as possible. I am feeling cold, very cold. Sean’s not here. I hear the slightest of footsteps. Faolan had followed me. “He hasn’t come back.”

“I know,” I say softly…

“Come back to the fire…it’s time...”