Well people, hubby's hand doctor cleared him to go back to work!!! But his physical therapist doesn't think he is ready just yet and has given him some really difficult execercises to do at home to ready him for returning to masonry, the irony is hubby is chomping at the bit to get back to work right now, but his boss said he's not going to be ready for him for a week or two. Is that God's way of saying not yet hubby? I believe it is. We do his at home PT twice a day and I think God is making sure that hubby is ready physically as well as making sure his hands are ready as well. I am never one who always questions why, but I am one who is thanking God for his wisdom, we have some tweaking to do, although it sucks that financially we are suffering. But we will get by as we always do.
Please continue to pray for Mirjam, she's a dear heart.
Love to All!!

I've known for some time that Mirjam Nebet was fighting cancer, it won't leave her alone! She fights like a soldier. She is a weird breed, she cheers me I picture her with pom poms, she's the bomb! She faces her cancer like she's bigger than that, she is in a clinic holding onto to life.

She lost her fat cat and now she is fighting for her life.

I'm working on a site where we can celebrate her, graphics, poems, well wishes whatever,
We Love you

Hello AW!!
I'm happy, thankful and downright giddy!! When it rains it pours but when the sunshines it is bright and beautiful, our storms are rolling out into the distance now and the sun is warming our faces!
I took hubby to his hand Dr today to get the stitches out of his right hand, and I told him that hubby's neurosurgeon cleared him to go back to work when hand doctor gave the okay, and I asked him when he thought that would be, thinking he would say another month. He grinned at me and said we'll see him in two weeks and see what hubby thinks. Awesome news!!! I know my husband, the envelope pusher that he is will be picking up his tool bucket, trowel and hammer, very, very soon! He's going to be slinging mud at walls, cutting and laying stone and coming home again in just a couple of weeks, and I have all of you to thank for this!! Many of you have prayed for us and with me, those who do not believe in prayer sent me good thoughts, and others patiently and diligently listened to me whimper and moan and gave me encouragement, so to all of you I say, THANK YOU!!!
Financially we were starving for a spell but spiritually we were fed beyond measure! AW rocks!! If you think I'm amped now just wait until he goes back to work and is "normal" again! The flood gates of joy will be breached and overcome!! Thank you to all who cared enough to read, to pray and drop me a line of encouragement, you have all blessed me and hubby beyond any measure, and I love you all for it :-)
You are all awesome!

These past six months have been extremely trying on our family, especially our kids. At first I was just happy that God spared my husband, I thanked Him over and over for not taking him the same way he took my father, that would have been the cruelest of ironies, but then when I got him home and began to see the big picture and most importantly his pain and also watching him struggle with what he was handed along with dealing with her death, I admit there were times in my quiet time talking with God, I couldn't help but ask "Why?". The answer was always the same, why not? There is a reason for everything. And I knew this to be true, so I held onto His hand and clung to faith, and fussed to all of you. And things were dark and uncertain, hubby wrestled through pain, being scared, worried about the future, and the helplessness was the worst; my kids ripped my heart out, they soldiered on but I could see the strife in their eyes, it broke my heart. Then there was me, probably more afraid than any of us, seeing the man who was stronger than anyone I know, a hard working man who feared nothing and only cared about providing for his family, was reduced to me bathing him, taking care of him in the bathroom, not allowed to do much of anything, he even asked to be tied to a chair so he didn't fall out when he was allowed to sit. I watched him cry countless times, especially when it came to her, but sometimes from physical pain and also from uncertainity of whether he would ever again be able to care for our family as he always had. Our son stepped up to the plate cutting wood to heat our home, doing most the things his dad would do, (he did leave taking out the trash to me, lol), and our daughter, when she saw her dad you could see the pain in her eyes, but God bless her, she was more affectionate and most importantly kept her grades up in a time when most would let them falter.
I always knew my kids were exceptional but this experience taught me that they were everything I ever hoped they would be, that is a blessing.
The biggest blessing would be found surprisingly in my husband, the biggest pessimist and negative thinker I've ever known, he began talking to me about God and faith, and I told him what I've always told him during tough times that God will provide, it will all be okay, and he began to not only hear it but feel it!! I told him blessings come from saddness and he saw that too and trusted it. It took me 22 years for it to sink into his brain, everything we've been through before was nothing compared to this, and yet in the darkest hours of our family to date he saw the truth, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Truth be told he should not have seen our son graduate and go to college, or even see the birth of our first grandchild, he should not have seen his daughter go to JR prom or be accepted to Girls State; he shouldn't have been here to have his 42 birthday, see our son turn 19 and our daughter 17, but he has seen most of these and the beauty is he appreciates it!! He's finding joy in life where he never saw it before, before everything was about money, now it is in the content of his life. He knows he's a rich man (although he can still be cheap, lol). He has also come out of this with a relationship with God, and for me that his huge!! A blessing for me that I could never thank God enough for! He reads his Bible and other inspirational books I buy him and he's never been a reader unless it had pictures. But he reads, he absorbs and he appreciates the life he has been given, and so in short, I think I am more blessed than all of my little family. It has been a hard road paved with too many tears to count, but, I've seen my husband blessed beyond measure and given a new strength he never had before, he has become for me in many ways an inspiration. Someone here at AW told me that God wasn't done with hubby yet, and they were right. I cannot wait to see how it plays out, but I guess my message is this, it's true that, that which does not kill us makes us stronger and also that God will not put more on you than you can bear. We are living proof of that! Light always comes after darkness.

You know the Bible tells us there is always light at the end of the tunnel, but we get so stuck on why that we don't see the bigger picture of God's plan, today Jesus gave me an answer to months of anguish. We went to the neurosurgeon today, and he was amped about hubby's CAT scan, his L4 and 5 looked like he was never broken, his Dr. was obviously excited. Once he gets his hands and nerve damage taken care of and finishes physical therapy hubby can go back to work!!!!! He reminded him to be x rayed every other month, stretch, lift with his legs,once his hand doctor and physical therapist release him, he can go back to work

I'm seeing everything I've ever wished for, I was left to tears and hubby just looked at me and grinned, he made me cry

I didn't know these were online until my friend told me lastnight, you can see them Here
Our van is facing the opposite direction of the lanes it's in. Freaked me out about when I saw it.

The cop told me hubby was turned around on impact and facing the opposite way when he climbed out those side doors...but seeing where he landed van wise, I just literally cry when I picture him crawling out those side doors and making his way to Joni's car, the visual is more than I can bear in some ways, and then I think of him, and he's such a trooper, he's forever changed but for the better I believe. I'm the one who is the mess, I fixate on the pics and picture him coming too and making his way out of those doors and crossing lanes of traffic to try to get to her, and that is what he did. He could have got killed doing just that, I just keep looking at those pics and wonder how I still have a husband and in the same breath thank God he's still here to drive me nuts. I'm up alone, and when I am, I just ponder and seeing those pictures, it's so hard but then I am reminded of how lucky we are, he should be dead...but he lived, saw our son graduate and our daughter go to prom. If it's this hard for me how much harder is for him? He just soldiers on, he's my inspiration.

The day that marks my husbands six month anniversary was met with the death of his dog! I am so ready to shove 08 into the crapper and bid it farewell! I thought it was weird that our Beagle, Buddy didn't come out last evening when we came home but figured he was hiding from the heat. Today, I went to take him some fresh water and when he didn't come out (he always comes out with his ball) I knew something was wrong, and sure enough I looked into his box and there he was looking like he was asleep, but after I called to him, "Bud, Bud" and he didn't respond, I took a very slow walk to the house to break the news to hubby, now come on folks that's not right, the dude lost his dog too?!!! Buddy was a rescue dog, as all of them are, he was a funny little guy with lots of energy and a playful spirit, he was what I always call a hot mess! We loved him and most importantly, hubby loved him,he felt really guilty for not being able to give Buddy the attention these past six months that he gave him before, but I told him, I think Buddy knew, he was always so gentle with Hubby after the accident.
There is nothing like a man and his dog and today was not a good day to take his dog. I'm so tired of the rain, the hardship and wondering when we can breathe again, but, I know that's life. Right after we found Buddy we had to leave and go reapply for welfare...such a proud moment for us, I'm so over this bitter pill that has been shoved down our throat sometimes I cannot breathe but, I believe in better days and the power of prayer, right now I am railing at God at times and pleading with Him even more, I know it will all work out, and I also know no matter how bad off we think we are, someone has it a lot worse. I know that, remembering it is the trick.

As I write this we are on the six month anniversary, hubby doesn't know it but, I do and so do my kids. It is so emotional...
At 6:25 or there about I got a call saying, Hilarity we have your husband, he's been in a head on colission, my son and I flew out of here with my son at the helm, the freeway was shut down and 40 was slow as hell because of traffic.
It took us forever to get to my sister the nurse, it should have been 20 minutes and took one hour, and all I could think of was hubby saying in the ambulance, "Hil, are you here yet?
I've been having more flash backs than hubby, there are times where I am crippled by his pain, and reliving his ordeal. I watched him cry, I've watched him shake his fist at his limitations, wiping his butt was a new low for him, but he carries on, he has learned to smile and find joy. But this day is hardest on me, I feel every bit of pain hubby and kids have carried, it's hard. I think of this anni and all the pain comes back, I'm sorry for my kids and mostly for hubby.....It's hard to carry, I feel full.

Hubby had his surgery and it was apparently a success, time will tell, in the meantime, we've been regressing, I have to tie his shoes, open water bottles for him, and driving is a huge challenge for him because he drives with his left hand, heck he can't even feed the dogs because it takes two hands, one to carry water and the other the food. (We have four dogs)

I really can wait for his right hand to be done because I'm going to have to do things I thought were behind me, ;-) Once again he is frustrated by his limitations, but, he has taken to reading his one minute Bible I bought him and it does help. I just wish I could go to a spa, but I can't so I pretend I'm in the spa when in the shower, lol!
I'm glad I can laugh, or I would be crazier than I am now, sometimes it's hard not to be overwhelmed.

In the meantime my son's ex girlfriend went for her ultra sound, and I have a grandson on the way, and in one pic he's giving a peace sign!!! I told my son maybe that is the baby's way of saying get along mom and dad! In some ways I feel bad for the baby but he will have two parents who love him, let's hope they love him enough to do right by him, and get along. I worry about my grandbaby, because his parents are two 19 year old morons!! Once again I am rambling, sorry guys :-)