What does a person do when she is unhappy in an online community? I’ve been brooding over this for some time now, as I’m not really happy here anymore. I don’t enjoy logging on and posting like I used to before I became a scribe. When I retired, I expected things to get better, but, in fact, they became worse.
Now, I don’t expect the site to come to a screeching halt just because I am unhappy. But it is something that is causing me a lot of worry lately and I decided to see if I could constructively approach the problem, instead of pitching a cyber temper tantrum – which is, quite frankly, what I want to do at the moment.
Possible solutions:
1. Leave. Fade quietly into the background and log in no more.
2. Find another area of the community that you like and involve yourself in that, and stay away from the things that upset you.
3. Stop taking things personally. It’s really not all about you.
4. Confront the people that are upsetting you.
5. Get AW a new server
Well, the first one is the most obvious solution. If I am unhappy here, why am I still here? I really can’t get AW a new server, but I’m a patron and I am paying to support a site that is buggier than a Louisiana swamp and moves slower than a glacier. I would not tolerate such in any other service that I pay for, so why do I tolerate it at AW? Truthfully, I think the money I spend on my patronages would be better served by putting gas in my car. At least I can use my car. The state of the site itself is playing a factor in all this. I’ve grown weary of vague promises that things will soon be “all better.”
I still do have a few responsibilities to fulfill here, so I don’t intend to flee from AW without having completed those. And the pathetically optimistic part of me keeps hanging around in the hopes that things will get better. And then I can go back to chatting and posting like in the days of old.
I could find another area of AW to occupy myself, except for there was really only one reason I came to AW in the first place. It is the area I have been the most active while I’ve been here, and it used to be what I loved best in the world. If I give it up, then I really have nowhere else to go.
I don’t really want to confront people. Even though I sort of feel like I’ve been taken advantage of lately, I don’t want to yell at anybody, because I’m afraid of alienating people that I don’t really want to alienate. Quite frankly, a lot of the criticism I want to hurl around really is unjust and unfair. That is what makes this all the more problematic for me. On one level, I realize that I probably have no legitimate reason to be upset. Some things just can’t be helped. I feel like I’m acting like a spoiled brat, but I can’t stop being unhappy about certain things. And I don’t know what to do. I can repeat the rationalizations to myself over and over again, but they don’t chase away the feelings. Maybe I need to start drinking something stronger than tea.
Lastly, perhaps all of this nonsense really boils down to the third item on the list. Stop taking things personally. Perhaps all of the things that are currently making me unhappy around here really aren’t real at all, but creations of my own mind.
So, good citizens of AW, I will attempt to refrain from throwing a cyber temper tantrum and sending out flaming, screaming emails (even though I really, really want to right now). I am trying to be good and approach this in a mature manner. Stop laughing...I really am trying. I will keep repeating to myself not to take things personally, and maybe, one day, the old Shibori will be back.
