The Vort's Prologue and Tale
I wrote this for a contest, and did not get time to finish it at the time, so I hope that I will be able to finish it here.
The Vort's Prologue
Whan that the Topi had his tale ytoolde,
and all in route, both young and olde,
said it was quite the most noble of story,
and I remember, if serve me memory,
of the Gangsta rapper yknowne as Papa G.
Then Desi laughed and swore, "So I can see,
this is going a'ight. Topi is quite the able male.
Now who else her will tell the next tale?
For trewly the game has yet bigonne.
Now tell us William, if ye konne,
something similar to Topi's tale."
And Vort who was drunk and somewhat pale,
uneasily fell off his horse where he sat,
he wore neither pants nor a hat,
and didn't pay anyone any courtesy,
And in Corny's voice he began to decree,
and swore. "By armies and blood and bones,
I got a better tale for the nuns,
with which I will quiet Topi's tale."
And Desi could see Vort was drunk on ale,
and said, "No, Vort, behave my brother,
back off and leave the tale to another."
But Vort was stubborn and did not give,
"By my soul that I shall live.
Just let me only get out what I have to say.
If I can't, then I will be on my way."
And Desi said "Whatever you say,
You are a fool and your out of your wits."
To which Vort replied, "Show me your wits!"
"Listen up!" Vort said to all and some,
"But first let me preface this statement, umm.
I know that I had two or three beers, but I'm cool,
Just because of my accent, don't think I'm a fool.
Now gather around and share my ale,
and listen to me as I tell you my tale.
The Vort's Tale, pt. 1
We all remember Vort's escapades,
like falling asleep in the shades,
in the back of the class, attention paid not.
He usually sat there high on pot.
And not paying attention to what the teacher said,
usually unusual unions danced around his head.
Like what if Mrs. Pfeifer, his math teacher,
who yelled about sports like a gay preacher,
Had turned into a camel, to match her pants,
and marched with alot of the same, much like ants.
But enough of those morbid tales,
Vort eased off many of the ales,
and began to tell his sordid stories,
told only in the bars of past victories,
when Laurels poked Vort in the ribs.
"You idiot, get the story on the way,
before I smack you the rest of this day."
And Vort was brought, his moral bake
he remembered and begun to speke.
"There was a man I knew who I will not name,
but he was a farmer yclept the title Jermaine.
And he somehow by the fate of luck,
found a fine, young wife who liked his luck,
and in their fine house he worked and she sat.
Still not yet satisfied with the antics of the cat.
But she grew tired of the game with the mouse,
and longed for excitement in their house.
One day a young student came by the name of Dan,
and at once the wife became a huge fan.
Dan talked the lady up and then down,
finally it was time the farmer was to go to town,
Dan and the lady knew it was time,
to do the deeds where many are considered crime."
Vixy then poked Vort's ribs and then said,
"Vort, you better watch your head."
But Vort was unfaded, too much into his story,
to give into another's gross alegories.
And on he went, bringing up lewd gestures from all,
When he could find none, the story continued to befall.
"But the farmer was leary, not yet trust in this new hand,
this handsome boy, this pretty man, this letch named Dan.
The farmer decided that he was to bring in another.
and he decided upon a friend of his brother.
This time he decided that things needed to be fixed,
and his homestead did he mix,
he brought on Troy to fix things that were broke,
and I admit, he was a hadsome bloke.
The farmer's wife had a thing for this Troy as well,
it was as if she was under a spell.
Two men, not including her husband, vied for her,
A better person should have been an actor.
*It is getting late, and I must put my tale to a rest for now. Unfortunately, the only time I have will be after the contest is over, so consider these my two official entries. I will finish the rest of the tale tomorrow.*
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