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The Ghost Ship
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I feel the chill of Niflheim moving closer to Midgard. Gunnar rode out with his men two nights ago. They left soon after the celebration bonfires had burned down to only embers. They are going out one more time for the last of the winter supplies that our clan needs. Yesterday, I went up with my sister Uote, to the burial grounds to honor and leave offerings on the little rock mounds that hold the tiny bodies of our clan's children. Each little grave is topped with the skull of the little dog foxes. The little animals can find their way to any point in Yggdrassil. So no tiny little soul will be lost on it's long journey to Hel. What a silent, mournful, desolate place the little burial ground is, and in my visit I was left in a quiet despair. A despair that once again left me cursing Odin himself. The thought of the loss felt by the mothers of those little souls made me wonder how the Aesir could be so kind and caring one moment and so horridly cruel the next. I often harbor a guilt ridden anger at the Aesir for treating those who dwell in Midgard as if we were play things to be tossed away when they angered, have broken or just grown tired of us. My sleep was fitful that night, as it generally is when Gunnar is not at my side. This night was a different uneasiness. Even my dogs, who delight in settling deeply into the reindeer skins where Gunnar sleeps, were restless. I grew exasperated trying to quiet my mind so I wrapped myself in my skins, commanded the dogs to stay, and went out into the night air. As soon as I had reached the path from the door I had a strange sense of foreboding. The silence was eerie, there were none of the usual night noises one hears in an occupied village. Babies crying, dogs barking, the murmuring of late night talk. I felt as if I had stepped into another world. Had I? Behind me I heard a low pitch roar that steadily became deafening. Startled, I turned toward the sound but found that it was not just sound but entities swirling all about me. The roar progressed into ethereal screams just as I could make out the vision of spectral horses and their riders hooded, faceless. Red embers, which I guessed were meant for eyes burned out at me from inside. My first instinct was to draw my weapon, but I had come out into the night unarmed, so instead scanned desperately for some way to escape the circling terror. When I finally spotted an escape route I was met by a huge black steed that reared up before me its rock like shining hooves coming down just inches from my head. Sleipnir! I recognized the rider immediately, for he wore an eye patch and perched upon each shoulder were a large black raven. I fell instantly on my knees from shock but mostly the fear. Still I would not lower my eyes which had met up with Odin's angry glare. It seemed to me I may have insulted Odin one time too many, as I have caused insult to all the Aesir at one time or other. It is, after all, the fault of the Aesir that I do refuse to submit to and fear them. All that I am and have become is fashioned from what they have wrought and fed to Yggdrassill. In truth I was in great fear, a fear of which I had never the need nor pleasure to feel in all my years as a young warrior. I would never guess that I would at once in my ordinary life as a daughter of gráfeldr come face to face with the Alföðr and this after I had insulted him beyond the Jörmungandr's dreams. Yet in all my fear only one thing filled my wretched head. It came from a story I heard as a girl when being taught why one must respect the Aesir: Odin is enraged at you, the prince of Aesir, Thor is enraged at you. Frey will hate you. You outrageously wicked girl, you have still got The powerful rage of the gods. Let all princes of Midgard hear, let all sons of Midgard hear. Let all members of Aesir hear. How I forbid, how I ban Joy to men of the maid Joy to the maid of men. Let Hrimgrimnir the giant posses you Down below Nagrind the gate to Hel's realm There let the wretches on the roots of the tree Give you goat pee to drink. A better drink you will never get maiden. For you alone are insult to all of the Aesir. These are the words for which I waited to see fall from the mighty Odin's lips unto my ears thus damning me forever...... instead the Alföðr spoke his lips moving not: Odin is enraged you disturb him at his wild hunt,the prince of Aesir, Thor is enraged at you. Frey will hate you. You outrageously wicked girl, you have still got The powerful rage of the gods. Listen closely shield maiden for Odin's warnings Flows not freely to mortals at Midgard Learn your lessons from your kinsmen well Your courage and honor may at once future surpass you Yet fickle girl your loyalties may grow weak A better favor you will never get maiden. For if you fail For you alone are insult to all of the Aesir. What was this, the Alföðr had dared called me a shield maiden? I rose up to my feet and was about to give this narcissistic excuse of a god a tongue lashing............ or perhaps more like I was about to say something really stupid, when I suddenly awoke nestled among the reindeer skins with my dogs sleeping peacefully at my side. Shield maiden indeed! reindeer hide I am restless waiting for Gunnar's party's return. Uote says I am worse when the season puts the land in darkness. I asked her if she noticed a ship moving in and out of our harbor at midday. She looked out squinting in the darkness looking for the usual silhouette. I don't know what you are seeing Catharina perhaps one of the ships from the raiding party had trouble and returns early. Although the raiding parties won't return until spring. I did not believe this to be one of our ships. The colour and the sail were wrong. We asked Anika, Hakon, Nissa, Halle, Ester, Frieda and Britka since we are all the fierciest female warriors left here to defend our village. They all scanned the horizon diligently. Nissa turned and scoffed at me. You Cat always have such an imagination. There is nothing there but the water. Perhaps one of the Aesir nymphs play tricks on you, it's not like you don't deserve it sometimes. The others gave a laugh or shook their heads and went back to their duties. Only Uote stayed by my side, for she was my sister and we loved each other deeply. Did not anyone else see it? Even I had to close and open my eyes several times to be sure I was not dreaming. Clearly there was a ship that was not of our village moving about at the mouth of the harbor. It was almost ghostly and it really worried me. Why was it here? Were we to be raided? Surely if it were a raiding party they would know that we were their brethren and had not much to offer except to spill their blood in defense of our village. Was this sent by the Aesir to bring bad luck to the clan and to the village. It appeared for a few minutes and disappeared again. When the morning mist hung heavy in the harbor I could still see its outline. I am so impatient. I have finished all the repairing of mine and Gunnar's chain mail, our shirts, breeches, and boots. I have helped fortify the long houses and clean the hearths, collected enough fuel for the deep winter. I knew when Gunnar's party had returned there would be much work to do. There would be much reindeer meat and hide to process to assure the village was well kept through the deepest and darkest of our winter nights. I had made offerings to all the Aesir. I had particularly asked for Odin's pardon in my curses of him, I do hope my temper has not pushed the Aesir too far and it has brought any harm unto my clan and village. I could not help to wonder what the Aesir's message had been to me and it distressed me not know if it was a riddle to solve or that I was being warned of some impending doom of my people's that I had the ability to prevent, that I had the warning from the lord of the Aesir himself? There was so much I did not understand, so much that made me fear and anger all at once. I decided to take a walk up above the western ridge to get a better look. To find out if I should prepare for battle or if I were simply going mad.  Ghost Ship As I stood on the ridge, I noticed the ship was moving closer toward shore. I scrambled down behind the ridge, although, I knew they probably had caught a glimpse of me. As I watched the ship and wondered what to do, I heard shrill laughter behind me. I recognized it at once as Loki. " I could try a charm Catharina to make them turn around, to make them think they are in the wrong harbour," he said sarcastically. " You know they are in the right harbour." You know who they are too. You told them where I was!" I said angrily. "Remember Cat when you were little and the games of hide and seek we played. You liked me then, but then you grew up and found out who I was. You think I am a bad man. I have always thought so well of you Cat." His smile sickened me.
"You are not a man Loki you are Jotun. I despise and curse you." He pretended to ignore my remark but I could see a flash of anger in his eyes. "Your father has already promised you to Prince Wulfnoth has he not? You ran away. This is Wulfnoth come to retrieve you. You will leave your beloved Nóregr for the Saxon lands." Wulfnoth will be good to you he is a well respected prince who will one day be in line for someone's throne..... although I don't know whose." Perhaps he will kill you so he can also claim your father's and brothers'."Loki laughed with delight knowing that this would not help Wulfnoth for I was unimportant to my father except as an object of bargaining. "Poor Cat, no more Gunnar. No more Nóregr. Yet she won't let the mean Jotun help her!" "Loki you lie to me, your magic brought them here you have no intention of helping me, besides how can you call yourself good? It is you who killed the beloved Baldr and you who tricks Odin into his bad deeds. Loki you are a mean, spiteful being. Humans are so much better than Aesir and Jotun." This perplexed Loki but only for a second and he was at me again. "Just lie for one night with me Cat like I have seen you with Gunnar and I will fix all. You know me more powerful that even Odin himself just think what power I could give to you Cat." " Yes, I know, none at all. You are disgusting Loki! You watched me wih Gunnar?. Just go! I don't need you, you have already caused enough grief for me." "Fine Princess gráfeldr, now you only have one choice if you wish to save your dear Gunnar and his sniveling clan of warriors and hunters, who enjoy life so much in this bare ugly place." "Oh and Cat, I did not bring them here. They found you with Prince Wulfnoth's fine tracking and navigating skills. Hmmmmm maybe humans are smart after all. I mean he seems to be much smarter than you" As an after thought, he asked, "Did not Odin pay a visit last evening?""Yes in fact he did, Loki, but as I said I trust no Jotun nor Aesir except for my protectress Frigg." "You mean as she protected her beloved Baldr." he sneered". I spit at him but he jumped away. "Very well doomed, runaway, princess you are on your own. Now your choice has narrowed to one. Unless, you wish to see this spot awash with blood. He smiled his sick smile again, "Either way dear, foolish,human girl you lose." With that he shifted himself into a falcon and flew away. I could hear his hideous laughter in the distance. I already knew what I must do and there wasn't much time and my grief had already begun to swell in my heart, my tears pour heavily down my cheeks but I wiped them quickly away so no one would see my pain or knew that I was about to do the hardest thing of my entire life. If only the ship would stay at the mouth of the harbor until Gunnar and the men had returned. Then I would not have to worry about the clan and we would fight. With the men gone I could not ask my clanswomen to put their lives at risk for the sake of me alone. After all, I did not belong here. This kind and humble settlement took me in after I had fled the wrath of my father. This is where Gunnar was born and I loved him, so this was where I came when I could find no where else to go. I had been so determined not to become a currency to be traded at my father's whim. I did not want to leave and live with the Saxons. So, now they had found me I had to face the reality that my father's wishes were to be carried out and I would never see Gunnar or this beautiful place ever again. I looked toward the water, the ship had stopped and was lingering, what were they afraid of? Surely they had scouted and knew most of the men were gone for the winter provisions. I must move quickly in case they begun to move forward again. I knew it would not be long before those of the ship had overun the beach. They would come looking for me and they would be ready to kill should anyone stand in the way. I called out to Uote. "They come for me Uote" I said sadly. "It is up to you, Anika, Britka and the rest to pull the people back to a safe distance, let no one raise a weapon." I could see the look of surprise in her eyes but her voice did not waver. "So they have looked for you and have found you, do not forget Catharina that I am your sister. We are your clan and we do not give you up so easily." "No, Uote you are Gunnar's sister and I do not belong on here, my defense is a risk none of you must take. I know these Saxons they will not harm people who are under my father's protection but they will take what belongs to them. I belong to them Uote the bargain was made long ago and when I fled it was with my father's honor. No one can help me now." I quickly pulled on my armour and gathered my weapons. It was symbolic only, for I would not fight, I could not risk them going further and coming into the settlement but they would see they take a warrior and are not just retrieving a woman. I would meet them alone and go with them but I would make them fear me as well as I could. I went to look at the ship's progress. It had not moved. Were they avoiding some unseen ice? It was already building up in the harbor in a few weeks would be completely iced over. If only they had been late in their coming. I would have had until Spring to live this life I had grown to love and would have had more time to spend with Gunnar. If we had married then I would have finally become part of this clan. But I had been promised to another and there was no law that I could turn to save me from my wyrd. I thought of Gunnar and how I would never see his face or touch his golden hair, feel his kisses upon my lips, ever again. It brought me to my knees, and I again laid my curses upon the Aesir. 
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Huus
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